


Two Idiots in Red Suits

by Watermelonsmellinfellon



Series: The Odyssey of Spideypool [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Cute, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Fluff, M/M, Revenge, Wade's Ramblings, mentioned Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 09:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16015082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watermelonsmellinfellon/pseuds/Watermelonsmellinfellon
Summary: Peter catches Wade during one of his many revenge-seeking expeditions.





	Two Idiots in Red Suits

**Author's Note:**

> -It came to mind so I wrote it.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

“So White was aiming for TP’ing the guy’s house but not just any kind of TP. Dirty. Didn’t matter how it came to be dirty, just that it wasn’t the pristine white that everyone comes to expect of those little squares. Yellow was very vocal about using shit and blood but I wasn’t sure I’d wanna get that on my suit, you know I make these things myself and shit is so hard to get out when it’s dried finally and then it’ll smell for-fucking-ever and a day and I was like, hell to the motherfuckin’ no, bitch! No Tide Pen would be gettin’ that out any time soon! But what I _did_ do was dip the TP in some ketchup and worcestershire sauce and then TP’ed the house, and worcestershire is a bitch to get out of anything so I know this bastard will be spending a long time and an ass load of money getting the stains off of everything. He might even have to paint that ugly ass green house over just to be rid of it al- Hey, you’re actually listening!”

Peter sighed, but nodded. “Of course I am. I wanted to know why you did it. You still didn’t tell me the reason by the way.”

Wade, in full Deadpool apparel, let out a little sound reminiscent of a squeak as his masked head tilted to the side in faux innocence. “Surely the punishment was more interesting than the reason, right, baby boy? I didn’t kill him like my first impulse demanded, I was a good boy and followed all your rules. He isn’t dead or broken.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Wade. Just tell me why you decided to make it so a random man will have to pay a couple thousand dollars just to fix up his house.”

Wade’s spandex-clad shoulders drooped. “He was a dick of the highest order.” He then began to nod to himself, letting Peter know that the boxes were saying something and Wade was obviously in agreement with them.

“Why was he a dick?”

Another sigh was his answer. “We both know that my masculinity is neither fragile nor toxic. I am very sure of myself and sexuality, but I won’t tolerate some homophobic piece of shit daring to comment on my life and decisions and think that he’d get away without repercussion. So in addition to TP’ing his shitty house, I also dug ridiculously huge holes all over his yard, popped one of his tires, broke in to steal his batteries and one of every shoe, and then at the end, I filled the entire ground floor of his house, all the way up to the top stair, with sand. Best not to ask how I achieved that level of stealth and just know that I gots meself some skillz, baby boy, and they makes me a bomb ass spy among other things.”

There was a second where Wade snickered to himself and Peter decided it was indeed best that he _not_ know how a man slept through his house being vandalized by the Merc With a Mouth.

“So he said something derogatory about our relationship and you decided revenge was in order?” Just to make sure he got the gist of everything.

“Yupperooni!”

Unable to help himself, he smiled. Leave it to Wade to be charming even as he broke the law.

“You’re an idiot.”

How Wade managed to get his mask to convey his mild but totally faked offense, Peter would never know.

Instead of lingering on that thought, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “We’re both idiots,” he clarified a second later. “But I kinda like that we’re idiots together.”

“Sooooooo, no punishment for Wadey?”

“No. Maybe something _special_ instead.”

That had Wade bouncing in place from barely contained excitement. “Does it involve Hello Kitty roleplay? I got a new costume and everything and I know you'll like it!”

Trust Wade to take an offer for sex the wrong way.

“Sure,” said Peter, unbearably smitten. “If that’s what you want to do, then sure.”

“We can fuck afterwards!”

That was good too.

* * *

**A/N: Done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Author's Note:**

> CHECK OUT MY OTHER SPIDEYPOOL FICS! ^-^


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